I VANT to SUCK your -- you know...

I had my first vampire dream when I was in grade 2. Dracula chased me and all the other kids around the school playground until I managed to slam a tetherball right smack in his face, but then he just shook his head and came back for more.

Dude was seriously thirsting for some 8-year-old O-positive…

… Since then, I have had recurring vampire dreams every couple of months or so. When I was little, they used to be scary nightmares that would jolt me awake terrified, with my heart pounding. But once I reached puberty the vampire dreams… changed. The vampires became strangely attractive to me, more alluring than horrifying. Then came the dreams in which I myself became the vampire and searched for hapless victims (buff guys, cute ones) to slake my thirst.

What do you suppose Freud would make of that?

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