The Lucid Dreaming Project Begins!


Know Thyself

One of the greatest experiences of my life happened when I wasn’t even awake.

I was in Japan, living in a small town about an hour south of Tokyo. One night after a typical evening spent drinking beer and writing until I could no longer keep my eyes open, I fell asleep while sitting on the floor at my kotatsu.

When I awoke with a jerk hours later, I was embarrassed to discover that I had passed out in the living room. Again.

Then, as I sat there, a sudden image flashed in my mind: A clear visual memory of me crawling into my bed earlier that night.

I had gone to bed. So what was I doing in the living room?

Confused, I looked at the screen of my laptop to see what I’d been working on before falling asleep. The screen saver was like something out of the movie, Fantasia: mythical creatures were frolicking across gently rolling hills, beckoning me to come play with them. I watched the screen saver for a moment before I remembered I didn’t have a screensaver like that.

That’s when I realized it: I was dreaming. I was completely conscious, and my living room was rendered in startlingly vivid 3-d detail, but what I was experiencing was the most vivid lucid dream I’d ever known.

I returned my attention to my computer. The mythical creatures were still frolicking, still beckoning. Another realization hit me. They really were beckoning to me. They could see me. When I pointed to my own chest to confirm who they were addressing, they nodded excitedly.

Heart pounding, I grabbed the sides of my computer and brought my face closer to the screen. Then I poked my head and shoulders right through the screen into the magical world beyond.

My upper body stretched toward the pastoral hills like Roger Rabbit’s eyeballs popping out. Alarmed, I pulled my head back — and found myself once again in my living room.

But there was a door on the opposite wall where no door had ever been. With a giddy surge of excitement, I pulled myself to my feet and started for the door.

Light was shining through the cracks. But it’s the middle of the night, I thought.

Then I knew: a world of possibilities lay on the other side of that door. I could step beyond that door and visit my boyfriend in Yokohama, then he and I could go — where? Indonesia, maybe, or Thailand. Or maybe we’d just find our own tropical island and party the night away.

But as I neared the door, it became more difficult to walk. The ground softened into squelching muck and air thickened to pudding. The bright light streaming through the edges of the doorway stabbed through my eyes into my brain, making my head pound. My heart was hammering against my ribcage like a wrecking ball, harder with each step I took. I began to worry that I might not make it to the door — my heart might explode before I reached it.

Don’t be silly, I told myself, it’s just a dream. You’re not going to die. But my body didn’t know whether to believe me or not.

Finally, I reached the door. My hand closed around the knob and twisted. With every last ounce of my strength, I pulled the door open. As soon as the light from beyond the door hit me, I exploded into a million pieces and then woke up, heart pounding, disoriented to find myself in my bed instead of the living room.

… Now this dream might not seem so exciting on paper, but the feeling I had when I realized I was dreaming, and the clarity with which I was able to perceive my surroundings, was unbelievable. I’d had lucid dreams before but never one that was so amazingly technicolour VIVID. It was even more exhilarating than the lucid flying dreams I have every few months or so.

Not long after I had that dream, I moved in with my boyfriend and stopped writing in my dream journal. My dreams became fuzzier and harder to remember but I didn’t really notice because my mind was occupied with other pursuits, like cultivating a relationship and having children and establishing my writing career.

But I have never forgotten the experience I had in Japan and have often longed to advance my ability to lucid dream to the point where all my dreams were as vivid and real as the one where I stuck my head through a computer.

Hence this blog. I’ve come to realize that advancing my ability to lucid dream will help me in other areas of my life. I believe it will improve my critical thinking and enhance my creativity, making me a better writer. I also believe it will help me become more aware of who I am as a person, on the most fundamental level, and help me become more thoughtful and more capable of living fully in the present moment.

… Plus, I might even stumble across a few secret mysteries of the universe along the way.

Heck, a girl can dream, can’t she?

1 Comment

  • By dennis, August 30, 2009 @ 5:00 pm

    oh beautiful experience! i love your site! :)

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