Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of Lucid Dream Girl?

beautiful_dark_woman

Why? Why does my brain do this to me?

Not even me, apparently.

All too often I wake up in the middle of the night and scratch down a few notes to help me remember the dream I was just having. Then I go back to sleep, eager to experience my next nocturnal adventure.

But sometimes when I wake up I look at those notes and they make absolutely no friggin’ sense.

For example, what do you make of this:

Manboobs

Fury over getting my hours cut back

That makes it impossible for us to have kids over

Luck you!

Him: I don’t FEEL LUCKY

That doesn’t even ring a bell. I have no idea what I could have been thinking as I wrote that.

However, clearly it must have been a nightmare. Manboobs and all…

It kind of makes me understand how people with early onset Alzheimer’s must feel. Yikes.

Wow, ya really got to keep up with this dream journal thing

So I took a break from dream journaling because for a few nights’ running I kept waking upafter vivid dreams¬† in the middle of the night thinking “Groan… too tired to flip over and write something. Will wait ’till morning.”

… And then of course when I wake up in the morning I can’t remember a single thing from those dreams that seemed so terribly vivid at two o’clock in the morning.

What’s worse, the lack of dream journaling resulted in me having no memorable dreams at all for a few days, which was a pretty depressing setback.

But I shall not yield!

Desperate to regain the vivid dreams I’d been having lately, I once again started writing down every single dream fragment I could remember, no matter how small. And within just a few days, my dreams have become as vivid as ever. In fact, I’ve had a couple of real doozies this week which I will write about in the next day or two.

So come back and check out how freaky lucid dream girl can get when all the lights are out…

Oh yeah. Things are going to get bloody.

Oh yeah. Things are going to get bloody.

I met God in a dream once. He was nice.

touched by godThis dream dates back to when I was in university… It came the night after I’d been having a theological debate with a friend of mine.¬† She’s a devout Anglican–me, a devout Agnostic.

(I definitely believe in a Higher Purpose that we cannot fathom with our tiny human brains. [Yet.] I also believe that we apprehend only the barest sliver of the reality that surrounds us and am perfectly willing to buy into the idea that some incomprehensible engine that is driving this whole machine.)

… But do I believe that eternal engine is an angry old man who says things like, “… for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me?”

Nope.

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I am my own worst nightmare — literally

Don't y'all have anything better to do?

Don't y'all have anything better to do?

Do you ever have those nightmares where something really scary is chasing you and you’re finding it almost impossible to run because you’re soooooo tired and your feet feel like they’re encased in cement and each step takes an eternity and you know that scary monster is going to catch up to you and chomp your head off any second now?

… Have you ever wondered what might happen if you turned around and confronted the beast?

That’s what I did in a dream I had some years ago. And the results were NOT what I expected.

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I did it! I WBTB’d! (Kinda sorta)

toomanyacronyms

I so need to buy this book

I’m beginning to realize that this whole lucid dream scene is riddled with as many baffling acronyms as the Canadian Armed Forces. (I worked at a military base as a student employee for two summers and have never seen so many randomly stuck-together letters in my life.)

I swear, one of these days I’m going to be able to proudly claim that because I’ve been doing CAT I had a WBTB WILD that transitioned into a DEILD triggered by a DS that gave me such awesome DC I woke up ROTFLMAO — SRSLY.

Or something like that…

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VAMPIRES! Part II

When I first heard that Stephenie Meyer of “Twilight” fame claimed to have based her popular vampire novels on characters from her dreams, my first thought was “Bitch! Why didn’t *I* think of writing a book based on all the vampires that haunt MY dreams?”

… My second thought was “Hmm… The money would be nice — but would it be worth going down in history as the person who turned an entire generation of young women into “Twi-freaks?”

Maybe not…

Twilight is bad for you

Twilight is bad for you

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VAMPIRES! Part I

dracula

I VANT to SUCK your -- you know...

I had my first vampire dream when I was in grade 2. Dracula chased me and all the other kids around the school playground until I managed to slam a tetherball right smack in his face, but then he just shook his head and came back for more.

Dude was seriously thirsting for some 8-year-old O-positive…

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Cue “Ride of the Valkyries”

I woke up this morning with the last remnants of a dream still in my head: there was a war going on and I was standing in a field watching a battalion of helicopters rain napalm down on a nearby jungle. The trees were full of gorillas, who screamed with pain as the flaming deluge turned them into flailing torches.

When I woke up, my cheeks were wet with tears.

apocalypse now assault

The Horror

Figures my most vivid dream in days would feature a CHAINSAW

… And let’s not forget the maniac wielding said chainsaw.

Except, in this case — at least at one point — the chainsaw-wielding maniac was ME.

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Dream Journal: Just because it’s fluffy, that doesn’t mean it won’t swallow you WHOLE

Creatures of the night

Creatures of the night

This was the tail-end of a very long and convoluted dream I had a few nights ago:

I was staying the night in a room with A and another girl . The whole scenario reminded me of when I used to visit A in Tokyo and we’d go out all night and then crash around dawn at that overcrowded gaijin rental house she shared with a gazillion other people.

The dream had the same “strangers are everywhere and they can hear everything I say and probably smell me, too” kind of vibe.

It wasn’t exactly doing it for me.

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